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Finding one’s purpose is an amazing thing. Dellison Charles has found his and hopes to continue learning, loving, sharing and making a positive impact for the rest of his life. This behavioural therapist and foreign language educator told MENtions that he finds joy in creating safe spaces where people of varying backgrounds can form connections, do introspection and move forward in the best direction for their lives. For him, his step of faith came at the right time and now, he is dedicated to what he sees as his life’s mission. This is Dellison’s story:

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When I tell people that I am an introvert at heart, they often laugh at me and say, “No way, Delli! Not you!” Being the only child of two extroverted parents, I often felt like life set me up to influence, impact and inspire people around me. Based on what I was told, I did everything “early” to the point where I was “reading newspaper articles” by the age of two years old. When I turned five years old, one of my teachers implored my parents to expose me to music and that’s when I started my love affair with the steelpan. I participated in my first Panorama competition at age 8 and continued playing with different major orchestras throughout my teenage years and into adulthood.

I existed in duality – “the bright boy” from “the ghetto area”

My teenage years may actually have been the most interesting phase of my life because I felt like I existed in duality. In La Horquetta where I grew up, I was referred to as a “bright boy” but at Queen’s Royal College where I did my formal secondary education, I was often hailed as being “from a ghetto area”. Strategically, I used this blend of book sense and street smarts to craft a unique personality for myself and shine in both environments. I knew how to play in the streets and lime on the block but I also prioritized my education and made sure I excelled at school.

My father’s death when I was 19 years old instantly catapulted me into adulthood. Alone with my mother, I carried the weight of several responsibilities including providing for the home, protecting my mother and pressing forward into manhood without a father figure. In the same way that in my current profession, I encourage my clients to achieve and thrive, I was challenged to train my perspective, convert my pain into purpose and push through the cloud of grief and uncertainty to graduate with Honours with an undergraduate degree in Latin American Studies and International Relations.

My purpose is to guide people

Many people weren’t surprised when they found out that I expanded my professional horizons to become a certified behavioural therapist.  Instead, they were more curious to know how I would have found the time to study and practise while holding down my intense day job. It was tough but I wanted to find a way to blend my passion for the travel industry with my purpose for guiding people. Regardless of my role at the time, I always made it a point to make a positive impact, not just for the benefit of the business, but for the improvement of the individuals within my purview. When I transitioned from the travel industry into full therapeutic practice, it was a step of faith that came at the perfect time.

“I am committed to helping people break free”

I often feel like I have been through almost everything but these experiences are what have kept me grounded and relatable. They have equipped me with the tools to identify first-hand with my clients and audiences. The biggest challenge I continue to face as a helping practitioner is confronting the misinformation and stigma about the reality of mental illness, the dangers of behavioural dysfunction and the benefits of receiving therapy or “help” from others. Although unspoken, there are many people who are enslaved by fear, guilt, shame and anger. This is why I remain committed to helping people break free and become the best versions of themselves.

While I didn’t have one specific mentor throughout my career, ironically, I had several at the same time. As a Christian and an avid reader, I have been most guided by my personal relationship with God and the diversity of the material I have read. Now that I have discovered my life’s purpose, I intend to keep learning, loving, sharing, and making a positive impact for the rest of my life. I am grateful for my family and those friends who continue to genuinely support and motivate me on my journey.

DelliDigest – a safe space

While there are several individuals in Trinidad and Tobago who already function in their own right as mentors, the main struggle continues to be exposure. Social media bombards us with images which distort the reality of a successful productive man and ultimately promote materialism and overcompensation as standards to conform to. However, as I have done with my online community, DelliDigest, my hope is that we can create more safe spaces for people, especially men, to enter with all their fears, doubts and insecurities. Once they enter these havens, they can find healthy guidance to discover who they were created to become. Let us work on making these spaces more visible!

Stand your ground

Living in different parts of the world and being able to collaborate with persons from different backgrounds have enriched my life in so many ways. These experiences certainly opened my mind to realize that because I came from a small island, I had so much more to learn about life. I also had to increase my tolerance of different cultures and ways of living. This type of exposure still excites me! I also learned (the hard way) that people will do anything to be successful, including trying to cut you down and sully your reputation. On many occasions, I had to continually stand my ground against bias and preconceived notions.  As a natural empath, I have been burnt along the way when it comes to trusting people but I am stronger, wiser, and more discerning now.

Search for purpose, meaning and truth

Being a therapist is deeply rewarding. My personal mission is for everyone who leaves my presence to feel heard, seen and empowered to live more purposefully. I love to rise to this challenge when I deal with my clients! However, this profession is certainly not for everyone. Just as with other occupations, fit is extremely important. Furthermore, being entrusted with people’s minds, emotions and lives, demands that the helping practitioner embodies the values of empathy, accountability, fairness and grace in order to provide the best assistance to his client.

To the young explorer, I advise you to keep searching but not necessarily for a career. Search for purpose. Search for meaning. Search for truth. When you discover why you are here, it will be much easier to identify what you are meant to do.

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Dellison is multilingual, and also functions as a foreign language educator (French/Spanish) and language coach through his online school – The Language Lab. To learn more about DelliDigest, you can scroll over to Instagram and Facebook. Dellison can also be contacted via dellidigest@gmail.com

(Originally published in November 2020)