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Marlon Bascombe knows what it is like to grow up without a father. He went through his teenage years “trying to figure out how to be a man” and he knows there are thousands out there who had similar experiences. This is why he has devoted his personal and professional life to advocate for men (and fathers in particular) to have a greater positive image in our society. Here is what the sociologist and pastor told MENtions:

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“Trying to figure out how to be men”

My parents separated just as I turned eleven years old and entered secondary school. This led to turbulent teenage years as although my father (a Police Officer) was alive, he was not around. My older siblings were out of the house by that time so that meant my mother raised my younger twin brothers and me as a single parent. We moved often between Morvant, Malick and Barataria out of necessity and crime, before finally being able to return to our family home in El Dorado, thanks to a Court Order.

My mother did her best with us. As a teacher, she instilled in me a love for reading which I believe was the foundation for my academic success. She also tried to ensure that we were involved in activities such as scouts and cadets so that we were well rounded. The challenges we experienced during my teenage years were numerous but the main challenges were our financial limitations and trying to figure out how to be men without the guidance of a father. The jury may still be out on whether my brothers and I succeeded at this. I guess maybe we did, each in his own way.

 “I knew I needed training if I wanted to help the afflicted in a meaningful way”

I attended St George’s College until Form Five and then South East Port of Spain Secondary School for A Levels. Both schools were rewarding and provided me with great memories and experiences. When it was time to choose a career path, my first instinct was to pursue Law because I had friends and acquaintances who had been shot or went to jail and in my naïvete, I thought that I can help them. My interest in Law lasted up until I did A’ levels when my experiences guided me along a different path. By then, I had dealt with persons who were experiencing suicidal ideation, living in extreme poverty or having difficulties to further their education because they had very limited opportunities. I knew that I needed training if I wanted to help the afflicted in a meaningful way. So I enrolled at The UWI St. Augustine and started to read for a degree in Sociology. From graduation to now, I have had favor in being able to work in several organizations as a professional and even as a volunteer to help many people.

“The social sector is both rewarding and heartbreaking”

Working in the social sector is both rewarding and heartbreaking. It can be fulfilling yet physically and mentally exhausting. To work with young peeople in particular and see them succeed is an indescribable feeling. To lose them to the negative aspects of society, is never a pleasant experience. This is why, I specifically went to work for the Children’s Authority. I believe that I can make an impact in the lives of the nation’s children so that the issues they experience as children, do not become bigger issues when they become adults. I know that for me, as long as I breathe, my two sons will have me as their father. But, there are many other children who do not have positive male role models and this is why I am even more committed to do what I do.

The social sector has great scope for personal development as well as avenues for individuals to make a direct and indirect impact in their community or the wider society. Therefore, I would encourage anyone to study Sociology, Psychology, Social Work and Counselling among other areas so that we can deal decisively with the root causes of the societal ills that plague us today. It is not a role for the faint hearted but once there is passion, there is the potential for anyone to grow.

“There must be a greater level of coordination”

I have been greatly blessed to travel the world (South Africa, France, Lebanon and other areas) due to my involvement in this sector. I have also been part of the development of policies and programmes intended to assist the most vulnerable in Trinidad and Tobago. There are times however when these policies and programmes may not have worked in the way that they are intended. I have seen persons hit rock bottom in a myriad of ways. I have been to funerals that came much too soon: but I have also seen joy on the faces of children who have overcome their challenges. To achieve the results that we intend, there must be a greater level of coordination of activities among individuals and agencies so that interventions can really have an impact and be sustainable.

In this field, I have also learnt the hard way that self-care is critical. You cannot help anyone if you are also in need. I am grateful that I have always had immense support from my family and my circle. My mother is the bedrock and worked hard to ensure that all her children did well. Without my wife of twelve years, I simply would not be able to function. My sons’ godparents and many friends are also in the social sector in various roles so we support each other in multiple ways.

“There is little spotlight on the role models that do exist”

While I know that I had to discover myself along the way and find my path, I have been impacted significantly by my former colleagues at the Citizen Security Programme (which was headed by Gregory Sloane-Seale) and regionally by the men of the Caribbean Male Action Network (CariMAN) which was founded by Dr. Peter Weller. I am also positively influenced by my Bishop Dr. Dexter James.

In the past, I used to think that there aren’t enough positive male role models for boys and young men in Trinidad and Tobago. However, what I have come to realise is that they do exist but very little spotlight is placed on these positive role models. This is why I really applaud this initiative. As a society, we need to find a way to highlight the positive male forces so that they can encourage others to come forward and play a greater role in the development of our boys and young men.

To the young man who is unsure which path to follow, don’t rush. Take the time to decide, especially in this fast-paced environment. Seek as much advice as possible and do your research. Make sure that whichever path you decide to pursue, is what you really want to do. This is important because loving what you do, will make difficult moments easier to bear.

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Marlon is the holder of a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology (The UWI); a Post Graduate Diploma in International Relations (The UWI – Institute of International Relations); and an International Master’s Degree in Business Administration – IMBA (The UWI – Arthur Lok Jack GSB). He is also certified in Mediation, Traumatic Incident Reduction, Life-Skills and Gender-based violence prevention. In 2016, Marlon was selected by UNWomen to function in two capacities: as a UNWomen Gender Advocate for the Caribbean Region and a member of the Civil Society Advisory Group (2016/17) of the UN Women Multi-Country Office – Caribbean. Marlon is also a director and lead consultant at C.A.L.M.M. – Caribbean Associates for Life-Skills, Mediation and Management and is an active member of the Caribbean Male Action Network (CariMAN). He accepted the call to Ministry and is the Pastor/Vice-President of his church and continues to be involved in many aspects of training with respect to youth development, including mediation and conflict resolution.