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Christian Birchwood understands loss; the kind of loss that could cripple anyone emotionally. He’s lost family to distance and death. Through it all he reminds himself to keep going, to  set his goals, remain focused, and build a life that would make his family proud. This is what the young engineer told MENtions:

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My mother left Trinidad for the US when I was 12 years old. My father, dealing with constraints imposed by his father, could not be as present in my life as he would have wanted. So I grew up with my great aunt, Norma and her husband, Ralph in Coconut Drive, Morvant. They both raised quite a number of children as their own. At one point there were at least thirteen people living under one roof and many others who needed shelter, would come to rest their heads from time to time.  They taught me how to be respectful, honest, caring, giving, empathic and most of all, loving.

My uncle passed away in 2003 when I was 13 years old. I came to terms with his death from the support of my Aunt. Financially, we experienced additional challenges since her pension was the main source of income for the household. At 15 years old, I started working in construction as a labourer and I used the money I earned to support the household and assist with funding my Form Six education. As my aunt aged, she gradually became ill and was bed ridden. I somehow managed to maintain the household and take care of her while beginning the engineering programme at the University of Trinidad and Tobago. As God may have it, within a few years, she succumbed to her illness and passed away.

She (and my uncle) provided me with so much guidance in my younger years so I knew I had to keep going. They both were the fuel that kept my fire burning and yearning for success.

“The single most painful experience in my life”

My aunt always told me that when choosing a life partner. I should choose wisely. I did just that. My wife, Monifa, was my rock during my grieving period for my Aunt. She encouraged me to continue my education in her honor. Monifa was extremely intelligent, loving, caring and driven. However, I suffered another major blow when Monifa passed away form a hereditary illness. This was by far the single most painful experience of my life, as not only did she provide a shoulder to cry on as I grieved for my Uncle and Aunt, but she was my motivation and encouragement on the academic journey.

After taking a semester off and still battling depression, I returned to the University of Trinidad and Tobago (UTT) to continue the degree programme and honour her life. My colleagues Mark Maillard, Brennon Revas, Shameer Mohammed, Marvin Gross were also instrumental and we encouraged each other during the final years. I also got a lot of support from my siblings. They were not financially able to support me as we all grew up with similar challenges, but they provided sound and consistent moral support. We were raised to be each other’s keeper and they certainly lived that belief.

“He mentored me in ways I am not sure he’s aware of”

Although I struggled a lot in secondary school, the Metal Workshop teacher, Mr. O’neal, went above and beyond to ensure that all students understood the various areas and core aspects of the subject. Through his approach, I learned a level of discipline that I still carry with me today. He mentored me in ways I am not sure he’s even aware of. He shared his lunch, his snacks, his knowledge and was not afraid to get tough with us, if it was required. The Technical Drawing teacher, Mr. McIntosh (R.I.P) also showed a similar level of interest and commitment towards us. Together, they helped birth my interest in Engineering. One of my primary school teachers from Morvant Anglican School, Mrs John worked hard to ensure that all students had the same chances as everyone else. These three also played a great role in my academic successes.

“This misguided notion and warped concept need to change”

I am happy that I was able to be mentored by my uncle and these teachers from secondary school. They filled the role of mentor, coach and guide and taught me so much. While there are many other men who mentor the younger male generation, these men oftentimes experience hurdles with the execution of the mentorship because the younger urban generation seems to view black success as having large rims on vehicles, gold chains, jewels, clothes, shoes; throwing parties, and consuming expensive alcohol. This belief is made worse by the type of music that pulsates throughout the communities. This misguided notion and warped concept need to change. To me, a successful black man should take time to teach his children the things he was not privy to when he was younger. A successful black man is one who after a hard day of work, takes the time to attend a PTA meeting and helps to mentor his children. A successful black man is one who cares about his family and his fellow man.

There are many successful black men in my community and others which are often deemed as “hot spots”. In fact, I know quite a number of police officers, doctors, attorneys, plumbers, accountants, shop owners and business people who still live in the community because they want to make a difference and be positive examples for others. These men all fit my definition of success. If one looks at some of the men who were previously featured on MENtions, one would see that many grew up in these communities.

To that young man who is now about to enter the adult world, I want you to find your passion and learn about yourself. Determine your interests and write them down. Dream about your goals and work hard to manifest them. Ask God to guide your path and begin working toward your goals. I truly believe that anything is possible with hard work, dedication and prayer.

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Before heading to UTT to study Utilities Engineering with a specialisation in Mechanical Engineering, Christian attended South East PoS Secondary School and Sixth Form Secondary School. He believes that “we may not make the change in this generation, but we need to make it easier for the next generation to make changes if we fail”.